I’m officially another year older! And for being such a boring number, I’m really excited about 34.
33 was a weird year. I think I’ll mostly remember it for all of the aging that occurred. You should see the grays I have to show for it; now, that would be a ‘before and after’ to talk about. I’m finally beginning to understand the women I’ve coined as “brave” for embracing their aging bodies over the years – the grays, the crows feet, the laugh lines – all just endearing reminders of the years they’ve endured and celebrated. I mean, don’t get me wrong – I’m going to be doing something about my grays shortly and I have a friend who recently did botox, something I never thought I’d be into, who’s results had me drooling. Today, though, two days into my 34th year, I’m proud of the grays I’ve acquired over the last year, the laugh lines that have only gotten deeper and the bags under my eyes that have just sort of become a permanent facial feature. Unfortunate and, yet, fine.
Even more than that though, there’s a lot to be happy about. One, I’m alive and well. Two, my kids are alive and healthy. Three, my marriage is intact and full. Four, heart is overflowing and grateful. Five, my brain is engaged and focused. It also seems I’ve officially run out of fucks to give about terrible people, so that’s great news; if you still have some and are wishing you didn’t, it only took me 33 years.
I’m also heading into 34 with a lifted weight from Seth and I’s official decision to be done having kids. For awhile there I didn’t know if that ever actually happened, it’s such an amazing and exciting thing, babies and kids add such a light to the world that it was hard to imagine ever thinking, with complete confidence, we’re done. But turns out, it does happen and when you know, you know. I’m completely happy with our boys and I’m ready to enjoy the next phase, more so I just know if we added any more, I would live in a constant state of there’s-not-enough-of-me-to-go-around guilt and mentally, I couldn’t live like that. Some thrive on that sort of challenge; I would probably cry underneath my bed everyday.
I’m excited for 34. It’s already shaping up to be a great year and I’m optimistic. My goals for this year are to give more, teach more, learn more, find a closer balance between all of the things that make up my heart and really to just enjoy it. If 33 was for the clearing out the trash and getting back to the basics, hopefully 34 is for embracing the new and creating a path with a purpose.
And with that here are the seven things I’m overthinking this week.
- This shit. There is something tragically wrong with our government, our system and our country. 18 school shootings in a month and a half. I saw a stat this morning;we’re averaging one mass shooting every 60 hours. 60. Hours. Enough is enough.
- DENVER. Seth and I are headed to Denver tomorrow to spend the long weekend romping around with one of my favorite people, Bevvy G. I’ve been looking up the weather every day; I’m obsessed. One of those days the high was 57 and there was snow in the forecast. Denver is wild, and beautiful and one of my favorite places on earth. AND I’M SO EXCITED.
- The Winter Olympics. Okay, the luge is the nuttiest thing I’ve ever watched. It’s terrifying actually. The ice skating is nothing like it was when I was growing up. And the snowboarding and skiing makes me wish I was decent at any winter sport, it gets me every time. My family is taking the boys skiing while we’re down in Denver and I’m excited to hear all about it, isn’t weird to think about your kids being unnaturally good at things you’re unnaturally horrible at? For some reason, I find the thought so hilarious. Knowing Abbott, he’ll be doing tricks and ramps before sundown.
- Ellen’s birthday party. I know, I’m obsessed with her but seriously Melissa McCarthy, Oprah, Adele and my favorite couple of all time, Kristen and Dax dancing together in one room while Pharrell performs and David Spade gets stoned? Stop it.
- P. Diddy changed his name to Love? And apparently it happened in November and I had no idea…………. QUEUE ALL OF THE THOUGHTS.
- Dear Shaun White, No amount of gold medals will make you a good person and no amount of money will never erase the fact that you’re a sleaze ball. But, congrats, bro.
- Speaking of my favorite couple. Let’s talk about couple goals. Seth would never have done this for me; truthfully, I may not have been bold enough to ask because – ugh, breastfeeding – but I still love this. #couplegoals