Play cart

I have a comondrum (obviously that’s what a conundrum on Monday is called). Why in God’s name are the shopping carts at craft stores so fucking small? Don’t answer. It’s a rhetorical question because I’ve thought of every single possible reason and none of them seem legit enough to withstand the hands of time. Not to mention it’s 2016 THE day and age of DIYing.

Oh, because there so much shit in the aisles and only tiny carts will fit and maneuver easily? 

Have you been to Michael’s lately? Those aisles are wider than the wood aisles at Lowes – AND THEY HAVE INDUSTRIAL-SIZED CARTS the size of small pontoon boats.

Oh, because they only sell small shit and paper?

Canvases, frames, vases, those giant cardboard letters, wreaths, baskets, fake plants, weird yard decorations, rolls of fabric…in case you haven’t caught on, this is a list of items I can only fit one of in those dumb-sized carts – and it could go on.

Oh, because if you need a lot of stuff, two midgey carts will be easier to handle than two regulation-sized ones?

OR ONE ADULT-SIZED ONE, MAYBE?

Oh, because moms never shop there and therefore there’s no reason to account for things like kids and carseats?! 

WE ALL KNOW MOMS LOVE CRAFTING.

CASE IN POINT: I went to the craft store on Friday.

And those itty bitty carts have been bugging me ever since. I had a car seat (which didn’t fit in the cart – at all – at any angle) and Matty. Matty, who obviously fit because he’s a toddler, had to sit in the shopping cart leaning forward like a geriatric patient the entire time because the car seat (and Abbott) had to teeter between the back of his seat and the front of the cart, requiring me to hold it with one hand at all times. Then, I either had to lift the car seat up to put things in the cart or pile them onto Matty’s lap which was already pretty preoccupied by his belly and overshadowed by his 99th percentile-sized head. At one point I was carrying two sheets of poster board and pushing the cart with the same hand when some guy working in the frame section had the audacity to jokingly say, “Wow, you almost need another cart!”

UM.

Should I really need two mothereffing carts for 8 pieces of scrapbook paper, 6 foam sheets, two 4″ styrofoam balls, an 8 pack of birthday hats, a tiny pack of patio paint and two poster boards??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*&#^%(@$&(^

The correct answer is no. Even with a car seat and a toddler the answer is no.

YOU ARE A CRAFT STORE. 65% OF YOUR CLIENTELE HAS TO BE MOMS.

Should anyone ever be sweating when they leave the craft store?! Because my sweatstache was real. And I’ve had trouble sleeping ever since.

SOMEONE. ANYONE.

Why are the shopping carts at craft stores so small?