F* It

It’s been too long. Don’t call it a come back, guys.

First of all, it’s 2019! 

And I have a few thoughts on that:

  1. What?!
  2. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
  3. Thankfuckinggod.

I mean, I don’t know about you but 2018 was really starting to chap my ass get on my nerves. Between all of the political junk, the loss of legends (RIP Aretha), the very obvious effects of global warming (did we or did we not have four months of 90º+ weather in the midwest?) and the Brett-fucking-Kavanaughs of the world just continuing to Brett Kavanaugh, it’d be an understatement to say I’m ecstatic 2018 is over. Is it just me or does 2019 already feel a bit lighter?

Second of all, merry belated Christmas or happy holidays or Hannukkah or winter break, whatever it is you celebrate.

I know the holidays are different for everyone. They can be difficult for some and absolutely magical for others, whatever the case is for you, I hope they were as merry, happy and full as was possible. We had a wonderfully busy break and while I could use a vacation from my “vacation”, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Except for that time Bot stayed up until 1:30am on NYE and became a literal zombie child.

Third of all, speaking of Bot, over the holiday he turned three!

I KNOW. It really doesn’t seem possible, does it?

Birthdays are always a time of reflection and Bot’s birthday represents so many different things for me. As you guys know, my pregnancy with Bot was the catalyst I needed to start Abbott and June. I was so scared to go back to the depressing place that maternity leave was for me and this gave me not only an outlet but, surprisingly enough, a community of wonderful people I am forever grateful for. His pregnancy was hard on a personal level, straining on a mental level and a turning point for many of my relationships so this time of year is bittersweet.

Bot was the challenge I needed to focus my energy where it would be the most impactful and since the day I met him, he has brought an intense fire of dedication and love into our home that can’t be matched. He is a wild child to the core and a lover to the end. Life would be dull, at best, without him. Like Mariah sang, he’ll always be my baby.

How is he three? And how have I been doing this for almost three years already?! 

Finally and fourth of all, “2019, the year of …”

Let’s bring this full circle and end on a note for the year ahead. Last year, you may remember I decided resolutions weren’t my thing and I shared a handful of themes I was hoping to carry throughout the year:

  1. Me first. Marriage second. Kids third. Everything else, whenever it comes.
  2. Emphasis on Feelings
  3. Relishing in adulthood
  4. Less, lesser, least is most

As you might already know, I failed miserably at a few of these. I did not put myself first, my marriage did not come second and my kids definitely did not come third. If it’s possible, my kids came first, second and third. And probably even fourth. This was a rough year for the youth in our country and it made me hug my kids tighter, worry about protecting them nonstop and seethe with rage at people’s ignorance. Turned out, 2018 wasn’t the year to smile politely and bite my tongue to spare others’ feelings. Darn it anyway.

This year I want to set intentions. For some reason “intentions” seem more fluid and abstract to me, easier to apply situationally. Turns out, I’m still batshit in 2019. This year, I want to continue to relish in my adulthood. And because 2018 was intensely extra, I want to set an intention to do more for the planet by using less and using more purposefully when I do. Listen, I don’t care what anyone says, global warming is real and I want my kids to have a planet to live on.

It continued to be difficult to be present in 2018, something that obviously shouldn’t be difficult at all, so I intend to work on that. I’m starting my year with a Facebook detox (of all the detoxes to need, right?). I have a really strong urge to live in a bubble this year with all of my happy people, happy things and happy thoughts and Facebook is just a window into a bunch of bullshit I’m not vibing on right now. 

Besides that, this year as I see it right now, I’m hoping to begin to embody a more well-rounded vision of wellness. Mentally, physically, spiritually. I read recently that even middle-aged people (which, yes, I realize many of you think I’m not) can strongly change the course of their lives and longevity for the better by creating healthier habits and making time for regular and consistent activity. I’m all about living until I’m 120 so I can bug the shit out of my kids until they’re 85 (I feel like that’s fair?), so longevity is really what I’m aiming for.

It’s never too late, you guys. We can do this.

2019 is shaping up to be an emotional and hopefully rewarding year but only time will tell how it will shake out. Fingers crossed it’s the best for year yet for all of us.

HERE’S TO HOPING 2019 IS EVERYTHING.

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