So it happened, Matty turned two and everything was – as semi-predicted – freaking fabulous. But saying goodnight to him and walking out of his room last night was bittersweet. On one hand, we’d all wake up today and nothing would be different but on the other hand, I was anxious because I wasn’t prepared for today – because, in a way, actually everything would be different. I would no longer be a mother of two under two, I would no longer consider my first baby a baby and I would no longer be optimistic that conquering the second year would feel as much like a triumph as the first year did.
Am I crazy??
When Matty turned one, it felt like I could conquer anything. I had a one year old who was happy, flourishing, loving, wild, funny and curious. My heart was bursting. Seth and I had made it through our first year as parents without killing each other and had somehow managed to love each other more than we probably ever thought possible. We had learned how to be parents and partners. We still respected ourselves enough to be honest with one another, cared enough for each other to step up when the other one couldn’t and enjoyed each other enough to value making time for each other. We had a beautiful baby boy who was growing up too fast but was also the light of every room we walked in to. Life was, for a lack of better words, our oyster.
Unlike one, two feels like a highjacking. Not only of the where-did-my-baby-go variety but where-did-the-optimistic-youthfulness-of-parenting-go variety. Where did my optimism go? Where did the endless possibilities go? Don’t get me wrong, I love being a parent I just think the reality of what that means – the future and the current state of what’s actually possible, is setting in and it can be tough to remain optimistic. Or maybe, after two years of what feels like whirlwind parenting, things are settling in and I’m not ready for everything to slow down yet. I’m sure I’ll eat those words later on…
BUT anyway, my first babe turned two and he had a great time doing so. We celebrated for what felt like two weeks (aka actually two weeks) with pretty much everyone who could and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Father’s day weekend, while at my parent’s, Matty was spoiled with his very own PA system and some handmade goodies from family. We had a gathering at the zoo with family and friends, a turnout much larger than I ever expected, and I think Matty had a perma-grin the entire time. He did the cupcake thing at school. And yesterday on his actual birthday, my parents came to town and we went back to the zoo for a marathon day of carousel riding, splash parking, animal gawking and peacock feeding/chasing. I can’t tell if I’m creating a birthday monster or a grateful, birthday-loving little fiend but either way, from beginning to end June has been one very fabulous birthday month for Marty.
Oh God, I’m tearing up just thinking about it.
We are all really lucky to have so many people who love our little family as much as they do. HUGE thanks to all of our friends and our families who were able to make it such a great birthday “season”. So, that’s all the birthday chatter until December when my actual baby-baby turns the big O N E. Oofta.
Shout out to the Henry Doorly Zoo & Aquarium for being Matty’s #1 spot on the planet.
Here’s to another blurry year of us, buddy…