I have been so bad keeping track of the hilarious things the boys have been saying. Abbott is still saying “no!” 76% of the time but he is talking (and singing!) way more. Matty is talking so much and making so much weird sense, it’s almost scary.

“I like green. I’m going to go to the Huskers and nobody’s going to say anything to me.”
“What?”
“The Huskers are nice.”
“Did you dream about the football game?”
“Yeah, I had a dream and the Huskers are pirates. I’m going to the Husker game and then I’m going back to the Iowa game.”

“Can I have another candy can?”
“No, buddy, no more. They’re not healthy for you.”
“Well, I ate one and it’s in my tummy!”
“It will be fine but no more. They’re not good for you.”
“Well, they are good for me because they’re goooooood.”
“They’re not good for your body.”
“But they are because my body is on my bones. Wait, where is my body???”

“Dad, my water is gone.”
“Ok, go fill it up and go back to bed.”
“Well, I’m not high enough.”
“You’re not tall enough?”
“Yeah, I’m not tall enough. Are you tall enough?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”

“Matty, did you get that out of the wishing well?”
“No.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Uhhhhh. Oh, this thing? I brought this here with me.”

“Ok, Dad, I’m going to go have more soup and then I can have another candy can.”
“Matty, you don’t get five dinners. That’s not how it works.”
“UGH. THAT IS HOW IT WORKS! I EAT DINNER, I GET A CANDY CAN.”

“Matty, get your hand out of your pants and go wash your hands.”
“UGH, Moooooom!”
“Go wash your hands.”
*leaves room, comes back*
“Did you wash your hands? Let me see them. They’re still sticky. Go wash your hands.”
*leaves room, comes back*
“Let me see your hands. Did you wash them? Matty, go wash your hands! I’M GOING TO SMELL THEM NEXT TIME YOU COME BACK IN HERE!”
*leaves room, comes back*
“Calm down, Mom, I washed my hands.”

“Where did it go? Does Mama have it?”
“GIVE IT BACK, MAMA!”
“I don’t have it, buddy.”
“GIVE IT BACK, MAMA!”

“Abbott, you need to -“
“I’m not going to sit down!”

“MANNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?! MANNNNYYYYY?! MANNY!”
“Bot, what do you need, buddy?”
“NO. Manny!”

“Trick or treat smell my feet. Give me something good for me to eat. If you don’t, I don’t care. I’ll pull down your underwear.”

“Your old face, big disgrace. Kicking your can all over da place. Singin’ we will, we will ROCK YOU! SING IT!”

One of my end of the year resolutions (because yes those are a thing when you have *literally* accomplished zero of your new year’s resolutions in November) is to write more of these down. We’re so close to the holidays (!!!!!!) I feel it in my fingers (I feel it in my toes, Christmas is all around me…).

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