“I love you. And I love daddy – more.”
Um, thanks? 

“Hey, Mom! Did you know who calls me a dumbass?! Hazel. She said, “Matty, dumbass!”
At least now I know Marty’s not the only three-year old in his class droppin’ it like it’s hot.

“Last night Matty must have been dreaming about movies, he woke up screaming, “you didn’t start the movie!
“THAT WAS NOT A DREAM!”
From having night terrors about cookies to having nightmares about missing out on movies, talk about a healthy childhood.

“Mom, do hawks have teeth?”
“I don’t think so, bud.”
“Well, Mom, Hawks do have teeth because Herky has teeth, see?”
Marty is officially on that University of Iowa bandwagon. #hawkeyeforlife

“You’re not a good cook, are ya?”
This is probably the most honest observation Marty has ever made about me, ever.

“We can’t go until you take nap.”
“Dad, I will take a nap. I just want to keep my eyes open.”
I have to admit, it’s a novel idea.

“I like swimming animals. Not puppies. Puppies are scary. Buuuuut I doooo like to pet puppies.”
……..I mean……ok?

“Abbott, do you want to play Blizzard Adventure Optimus Prime Dinosaur?!!!”
If you ever want to know what Marty’s priorities are in that moment, ask him what game he wants to play. 

“Why did she say there are a lot of people dead? What happened to their home? Is that guy a killer?”
This is what happened when Ellen ended and the news started before I could turn the TV off. Depressing, right?

“Mom, this should really be a van.”
“What?”
“We should really be in a van.”
“A van?”
“No. A VAAAAN.”
Someone (ahem, Seth) has been shit talking my aversion to mini vans and using my kids against me.

“I can fight rain. Did you know I can fight rain? I’m a rain finder, so I have to find the rain and FIGHT it.”
Still unclear as to how that works but it sounds like a viable hobby. 

“We forgot my shark shirt!”
“Matty, you’re wearing your shark shirt.”
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh…”
And then Seth said, “Jesus, you are your mom’s son.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Never change, Matty. Never. Change.