The other day, for the second day in a row, Matty woke up with a fever. Seth and I decided we should try to get him into the doctor just in case. I didn’t have my computer to work from home, so I decided I would take him into the office with me for a little bit and then work from home after I got him into the doctor. So, in this special edition of Marty’s Chatty Corner, I’m sharing the best quotes from our short time in the office – 75% of which were whispers.
“Mom, why are there so many stairs? And why are they so blue? Do you walk on these stairs every day?” For the record, there were two flights of stairs.
“OH, Mom, look! I can swing!”
“Matty, please don’t. That’s a hand rail.”
“Where. Are. We. Going?! Is this where you work? Are we there yet?” Marty walking through the office.
“But where are all of your friends?”
“No one’s here yet.”
“But are your friends coming?”
“Mom, is this where you sit?”
“Well, where are all of the toys?”
“Work is not as cool as school.”
“OH, MOM, LOOK! They have our pictures here?!”
“I brought those.”
“NO. But look! That’s me. And that’s Abbott! They have our pictures?!”
“I put them there.”
“No. They had them! They have our pictures!”
“Mom, is that your big phone you call people on?”
“But what do you say??????”
It didn’t dawn on me until this very moment how strange and new this ‘big’ phone must have looked to him. #thisisthefuture
“Mom, will you read this book to me? Mom, what’s this? OH, MOM, LOOK! What’s in here?!”
“Well, Mom, is that your computer?”
“Well, why are there so many screens?”
“OH, MOM! Look, they have a picture of that party. With the balloons. Right there! Remember that?!”
“That was mom and dad’s wedding.”
“YEAH! And I was there!”
“Well, were they there?”
And by ‘they’ he meant my work? The picture situation really blew his mind.
“Mom, where are all of your friends?”
“Buddy, work is different than school.”
“But where are your friends? … OH! I hear something. Is that your friends?!”
“At work you have co-workers, at school you have friends because you grow up with them and you play with them.”
“Ok, so where are all of your friends?!”
I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS AT WORK. STOP MAKING IT WEIRD; PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU.
“Matty, I have a quick meeting to go to but you can stay here and eat your breakfast, okay?”
“Well, because you need to eat your breakfast. It will be quick; I’ll be right back.”
“Well, I’m going to go with you.”
“Well, why don’t you just stay here?”
“Because! I wanna come with you. Will your friends be there?!”
Ok, yes, ALL of my friends will be there.
Matty did come to the meeting and while he didn’t say a word, he did fart (and not quietly) right in the middle of it. At first I thought maybe no one heard him and then slowly there was a wave of laughter. Then, all the moms shared their kids’ farting habits and everyone had a good laugh. I can honestly say it was the most entertaining stand-up I’ve ever attending, and I’ve attended a lot of them in my lifetime.
Yesterday, as I left for work and Seth buckled the boys into the car, Matty yelled out of the window, “MOM! REMEMBER WHEN I WENT TO YOUR OFFICE?!” A giant smile spread across his face. All I could do was laugh, nod and give him a quick thumbs up (a thing he’s been doing recently). As I pulled away, he reciprocated with an enthusiastic thumbs up and exaggerated head nod like it was our little secret thing and my heart exploded.
His hour and a half at the office will give both of us something to smile about for a long time to come.