Marty’s Chatty Corner

“I love you. And I love daddy – more.”
Um, thanks? 

“Hey, Mom! Did you know who calls me a dumbass?! Hazel. She said, “Matty, dumbass!”
At least now I know Marty’s not the only three-year old in his class droppin’ it like it’s hot.

“Last night Matty must have been dreaming about movies, he woke up screaming, “you didn’t start the movie!
From having night terrors about cookies to having nightmares about missing out on movies, talk about a healthy childhood.

“Mom, do hawks have teeth?”
“I don’t think so, bud.”
“Well, Mom, Hawks do have teeth because Herky has teeth, see?”
Marty is officially on that University of Iowa bandwagon. #hawkeyeforlife

“You’re not a good cook, are ya?”
This is probably the most honest observation Marty has ever made about me, ever.

“We can’t go until you take nap.”
“Dad, I will take a nap. I just want to keep my eyes open.”
I have to admit, it’s a novel idea.

“I like swimming animals. Not puppies. Puppies are scary. Buuuuut I doooo like to pet puppies.”
……..I mean……ok?

“Abbott, do you want to play Blizzard Adventure Optimus Prime Dinosaur?!!!”
If you ever want to know what Marty’s priorities are in that moment, ask him what game he wants to play. 

“Why did she say there are a lot of people dead? What happened to their home? Is that guy a killer?”
This is what happened when Ellen ended and the news started before I could turn the TV off. Depressing, right?

“Mom, this should really be a van.”
“We should really be in a van.”
“A van?”
Someone (ahem, Seth) has been shit talking my aversion to mini vans and using my kids against me.

“I can fight rain. Did you know I can fight rain? I’m a rain finder, so I have to find the rain and FIGHT it.”
Still unclear as to how that works but it sounds like a viable hobby. 

“We forgot my shark shirt!”
“Matty, you’re wearing your shark shirt.”
And then Seth said, “Jesus, you are your mom’s son.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Never change, Matty. Never. Change.

This is our first chatty corner of 2018 and it’s time for Bot to have a permanent spot. I mean, he still says ‘No!’ and makes simple demands more than anything else and runs his words together because ain’t nobody got time for proper diction or actual English but he’s still hilarious. “Go to bed […]

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Marty has started preschool and IT IS showing. He is verbal in ways I was hoping he wouldn’t be for at least a decade. But he’s also so hilarious and spunky that there are days he literally makes me laugh cry. He is a ball of light and emotion and love and I DON’T WANT […]

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Recently, Matheson has been a talking machine and, as predicted, he’s hilarious (he gets it from his mama) but he’s also clever and charming and weird. He will be three in about a month and a half and the thought of that is mind blowing (that’s a statement I’m prepared to make every year because I’m […]

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I feel like I said this same things months ago but, you guys, Matty is talking SO much and his imagination is going haywire. The other night while he was eating dinner he yelled, “Mama! The lions are coming! NO, LIONS! THAT’S MY MAMA! NO, LIONS – GO OUTSIDE. BITING IS NOT NICE! NO BITE!” First […]

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