This is our first chatty corner of 2018 and it’s time for Bot to have a permanent spot. I mean, he still says ‘No!’ and makes simple demands more than anything else and runs his words together because ain’t nobody got time for proper diction or actual English but he’s still hilarious.

“Go to bed right now.” Bot, disciplining Matty. But, guys, will they ever stop getting out of their beds after bedtime?

“I tooted!” Abbott, after Seth farted. 

“Why not ‘cited for school, Manny?” Bot talking to Matty about school, his favorite place in the world.

“I FIGHT MANNY! Fight, Manny! Fight!!!”Boys, ugh.

“Abbott, stop touching your brother.”
“I not touching Manny. Hi, Manny! Hi, Manny!”
“Um, lying on your brother still counts as touching.”
“No, you stop!”

“Not dat one. Not dat one. Not dat one. Not dat one. Not dat one. Not dat one.”
“Not dat one. Not dat one. Not dat one…”
– Seth and Bot trying to pick out a movie while scrolling through Netflix. Bot is perpetually unimpressed.

“It’s going to be really hard to be home.” Matty, preparing to leave Grandma and Grandpa’s. Thanks a lot, Marty.

“I’m not in Florida! I’m at home. This is my home.”And sometimes (most times?) Marty doesn’t even make sense.

“Mom, you know what happened to those party hats? They broke. The raccoons broke them. Now they must be in jail with the bad guys.”Matty talking about the tiny party hats his dragons sometimes wear, that apparently the ‘raccoons’ got?

“Well, I’m sick because Abbott got me sick.” Well, I’ve been sick for three and half years because you’re both gross!

“Awe, is Abbott your cat?”
“Yeah, he’s cute.”
“What’s your cat’s name?”
“Shubby? What does that mean?”
“You know, my cat, Shubby.”
– Duh. I mean, yeah. Of course, I totally know.

“Dad, I’m not going night-night until I can shave that mustache off your face.” – Marty after Abbott’s 70’s birthday party where Seth was a #1 creep with a gross ‘stache.

“A fuckin’ little diaper – HAHAHAHAHA – I said diaper!” – Yes, because that’s the hilarious part.

“The teacher didn’t know who I am! She didn’t even know my name!” – Marty, trying to defend not knowing who his teacher was. 

“Dad, do you know what I don’t like? I don’t like the peppers. I don’t like red peppers, I don’t like green peppers and I don’t like any other peppers.”
“Well, if you were a dragon, you wouldn’t be able to eat spicy salsa.”
“Well, I AM A DRAGON!”
– Seth and Marty conversations in the car Part I

“Hey, Dad! You know what you forgot to do? You forgot to suck my nose!”
“I feel like you’re taunting me a little bit.”
– Seth and Marty conversations in the car Part II

“You’re professor poopy pants.”
“Ugh. NO. I’m MATTY poopy pants!”
– Seth and Marty Conversations in the car Part III

“I don’t want to go to sleep. I just….don’t.” – WE GET IT!

But seriously, why is everything kids say so hilarious?