It’s been too long. Don’t call it a come back, guys. First of all, it’s 2019!  And I have a few thoughts on that: What?! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Thankfuckinggod. I mean, I don’t know about you but 2018 was really starting to chap my ass get on my nerves. Between all of the political junk, the […]

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Last week as we tucked the boys into bed, I asked Matty what he wanted for Christmas. He replied without hesitation. “I’m going to ask Santa for a Optimus Prime and a fingerling.” First of all you guys, what the fuck is a fingerling, right? I asked. “A fingerling is, uh, like, a animal that […]

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A lot of people have been talking about how they’re scared for their boys and I have to say, I am too. As a mom of two young boys, I’m terrified. I’m terrified that despite all the lessons between right and wrong Seth and I will teach over the course of the next 15 or […]

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It’s been a while. Hey, how are you?! Insert massive hug. Seth has been saying, “Babe, you gotta do an A and J!” on and off for a while now and my response has consistently been, “I know but I have nothing to write about.” And then last night he said, “BABE. You gotta blog. You […]

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You guys, I have really big news this morning. I don’t know if you’ll believe it. I don’t even know if I believe it. But I sent Abbott to school today in Fruit of the Loom underwear. That’s right ladies and gentleman, real underwear. The kind that leaks when you pee in it and sags […]

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I have a comondrum (that’s obviously what a conundrum on a Monday is called). Here is the scenario: You and your partner get invited to a party. It sounds like fun and you decide you’re going to try to get a sitter for your two (or more) little ones. You get a sitter. The day […]

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A Special Place is a new weekly series in which we’ll cover all of the special places in hell and all of the special people who might reside there. This week, I’m talking about those people. You know, the ones who have 911 on their speed dial because they’re allergic to diversity. I have never […]

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How often do you and your kids say I love you? I read something recently in which a mom said she hardly said I love you to her kids and her husband because she didn’t want to cheapen it. “When I say it, it means something.” It made me reflect on how often I use […]

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A Special Place is a new weekly series in which we’ll cover all of the special places in hell and all of the special people who might reside there. This week, I’m talking about my body (and maybe your body) and everyone who finds it offensive. If you find other people’s bodies offensive and make […]

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Last night, after a busy weekend of camping with their grandpa, the boys had a hard time staying in their bed. They came out of their bedroom on a regular rotation with a excuse after excuse. “One more kiss.” “One more hug.” “Eskimo kisses!” “Dad! Abbott scratched me!” “DAD! YOU DIDN’T PUT ICE IN MY […]

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