So far today I have done the following: Woken up with hives Taken a cold shower (thanks to said hives) Left my keys in my house Realized I was locked out when I went to get said keys Broken in to the house with my library card (thanks to resourceful, and yet terrifying, instructions from […]

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I’ve let a few days pass since hundreds of thousands of kids across the country marched for their lives. I’ve let it all sink in. I’ve seen all of the footage, I’ve read a lot of the articles – from both sides, I’ve watched the interviews, I’ve tried to understand the other side of the […]

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Y’all. It’s a sad day in our house. Our very first family pet, Puppy, had to be put down last night. Or, more accurately, flushed down the toilet last night. Some of you might remember last year at almost this exact time (MIND BLOWING) I was uneasily unemployed and filling my days with home improvements, […]

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I would be rich if I had a dollar for every time I’ve uttered a phrase that started with, “Well, ever since I had kids…” In fact, just this morning I said it. It was 7:10 am and I was sitting in the quaint Quick Care office located within my local Hy-Vee and the doctor […]

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Do you all listen to podcasts? I’ve recently gotten really into them. I mean, of course, like the rest of the world, I listened to Serial and S-Town but other than that I’ve stayed out of the podcast game. Everyone seems to have a podcast so finding ones I like seemed daunting but I’ve been […]

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“I love you. And I love daddy – more.” Um, thanks?  “Hey, Mom! Did you know who calls me a dumbass?! Hazel. She said, “Matty, dumbass!” At least now I know Marty’s not the only three-year old in his class droppin’ it like it’s hot. “Last night Matty must have been dreaming about movies, he […]

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Is it just me or is parenthood basically a bunch of adults doing and thinking about a bunch of shit they never, in a million years, imagined they would ever do? Don’t lie. I know it’s not just me. I mean, have you ever had one of those moments where you find yourself doing something […]

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With each day that passes, I learn more about long-term monogamy. These are the types of lessons you can only learn through real-life experiences. Things like knock-down/drag-out fights, nights sleeping on the couch or in an otherwise empty bed, spending some evenings so exhausted you can hardly bare to listen to another story that will […]

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Michaela is Mom to Lily (11), Collin (8) and Myra (10 mo) and she’s also a full-time teacher, but not in the sense you’re probably envisioning. Michaela does something I could never do but have admittedly been thinking more and more about in the midst of all of this year’s school shootings, she homeschools! When […]

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I need to tell you about the batpocolypse that happened in our home the other night. It was the boys’ first experience with a bat in close quarters (whereas it was, like, my 5th) and it told me a lot about my survival style – AKA every man for himself – AKA Abbott’s scarred for […]

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