Three and a half months ago Seth and I sat on the couch after the boys had gone to bed and whispered back and forth about our weekends. It was a weekend of firsts. He had stayed home with the boys alone for the first time ever and I had traveled to Denver to see friends for the first time since becoming a mama. I don’t remember exactly how the conversation played out that night but I do remember Seth telling me he was caught off guard by how much missed me and me telling him how overwhelmingly grateful I was to have someone who not only let me leave the boys with him for the weekend but demanded it. Somewhere in this conversation, and this part I will never forget, I half-jokingly, half-seriously asked, Should we just get married? And he, without hesitation, responded: I’ll marry you tomorrow.
And so we decided, against all of our previous ideas and views, to tie the knot! We’ve been through a lot in our relationship and our futures, married or not, were bound to be inexplicably intertwined – and, hopefully, always together. We love each other. We respect each other. We challenge each other. We have a lot of fun together. It all comes so easy. And now, I’m so happy to say, we’re officially married to each other!!
For the last three and a half months we have been leading our friends and family on to believe Seth was planning a proposal and a surprise engagement party, while in reality we were planning a surprise wedding. Planning a wedding without anyone knowing is insane – but the outcome, which was a ceremony and party completely planned without having to entertain other people’s opinions or any outside expectations and traditions, was completely and utterly amazing. We had a dear friend of ours marry us, we had our best friends stand up with us and, in a cozy room with 95ish of our favorite people, we got to exchange handwritten vows and simple wedding bands. We had guests from six different states – I got to hug and thank friends and family I haven’t seen in years. We had the best food truck. The most amazing DJ. The University of Iowa pep band (GO HAWKS). We danced, ate, drank, laughed and cried.
I’m still high on the overwhelming amount of love, happiness and perfect-for-us-ness of the whole thing. A huge thank you to our friends and family for making the trek and giving us the perfect evening and the best weekend. So much love…
From a morning blowing up mini balloons and back-to-back meltdowns, to our little moments of surprising our best friends, to our ceremony song, to the napkins, to the popcorn, to the sweets, to the downpour, to the french fries and milkshakes, to all the sweaty hugs and all the popped balloons – I am so in love with every memory.
It was a night for the books.
I’m a married woman, you guys! So, use this as another reminder to never say never – because life never tends to workout the way you plan. XOXO
As is pretty obvious by Matty and Abbott, Seth and I have shared a lot of big moments together in a fairly short amount of time. As most of you know, we had officially been dating a couple weeks before I found out we were six weeks pregnant with who would eventually become the best thing that’s ever happened to either of us – but at the time we weren’t so sure.
I remember when I told Seth I was pregnant how he exhausted himself by repeating, “I just don’t think I’m ready. I always thought I’d be married when I had a kid.” We had no idea what we were going to do. So we came to an agreement, we would both go to an ultrasound before making any final decision. We did that the next day and I would say that was our first big moment. It was amazing but when we left we still hadn’t made any final decisions.
The next day around 12:30 in the afternoon, I came back to my desk to see I had a text from Seth.
The text simply read, “Let’s have a baby.” For me, that was our second big moment.
Our third big moment is probably when we exchanged our first “I love yous” – I was about 8 months pregnant – and as it turns out, that was the last, first I love you I’ll ever say. So, it comes in at #3.
The fourth big moment was the first time I recall thinking “if we make it through this, we can make it through anything”. I was somewhere just short of my due date. It was in the dead of night and there was just something not right happening in my stomach (not baby related). Since our bathroom was right off of our bedroom in an apt that was entirely wood floors, I held out as long as I could but at about 2am I couldn’t hold out any long – I “sprinted” into the bathroom, AKA waddled quickly. Things started happening immediately and it was not quiet, so I turned on the sink faucet. It did nothing. So, I decided the next smartest thing was to turn on the bathtub faucet. Didn’t help. So there there I was, sitting in the bathroom in the middle of the night, shitting my brains out, two faucets running and neither helping. So, I decided for some reason to start coughing – like it would help cover up the noises. But this wasn’t your regular trip to bathroom – no amount of running water or fake coughing was going to cover it up. Pregnant AF and going into panic mode, I started legitimately crying – like, sobbing. Then, like a wave, all of my concerns passed and I began laughing hysterically. I think I was so mortified but also so pregnant that I just lost all control. Eventually, things let up. So I washed my hands and turned off the water. The apartment was silent. I was, psychotically, still somehow a little optimistic that maybe Seth didn’t hear anything, so I walked back to bed and got situated. Then, Seth, without rolling over or opening his eyes, drowsily reached over and patted me on the head. Obviously, he had heard everything but I still had to ask. I said, “Did you hear that?” knowing he absolutely heard it – everyone on the block probably heard it. And still without opening his eyes, he says ‘nu uh what was it?’ In that moment, I just broke down laughing so hard I was crying (again!) and he did the same.
In that moment, I thought to myself, if we can survive this, we can survive anything – little did I know what was a majorly mortifying case of the midnight shits before pregnancy would become the equivalent of just another case of gas passing in the night after pregnancy. Little did I know, a short month or so later Seth would have to watch as my abdomen was sliced open and yanked apart, little did I know our hearts would be shredded upon meeting our first giant-headed blessing, Matheson Walter. Big moment #4. Little did I know, in that moment, as I lie in bed, laughing and crying, that we still had yet to endure countless sleepless nights, seemingly endless, teetering-on-bipolar mood swings, long spans of time dancing around the issue of post-partum depression, baby meltdowns, adult meltdowns, sudden hair loss, a mysterious case of body odor, a FEW lbs here and there and then – that we’d have to DO ALL OF THAT again very shortly. Little did I know, our hearts would sit on the edge of bursting for the rest of our lives after meeting our second, seriously perfect blessing, Abbott Douglas. Big moment #5.
And, while I know that sounds like a lot, there are what feels like literal lifetimes of moments in between all of that. And there are still lifetimes of moments to come and lifetimes of memories to be made. And I am thankful every day. I wish there was a more impactful way of saying that or conveying it but it’s as simple as it is serious, I am so very grateful. I want to thank you all for being here for what you thought was a proposal, I want to thank Seth for building and choosing to keep building such a beautiful life for our family with me – but mostly I want to thank every single one of you in this room for loving and supporting our little family in every big and small way you have – because you have – whether it be through a friendship with Seth or a friendship with myself or simply lingering in the background and leaving us assured that if we fuck this up, you’ve got us covered.
This day is just another moment in our story that we get to share with you – but our love and gratefulness for all of you and your overwhelming amount of love and support for us is, in the end, what will make our story worth reading – it’s what will make all of our stories worth reading. As far as we’re concerned, everyone in this room is our family. And today is just as much for us as it is to thank you, so thank you. We love you all more than words could express or booze we could funnel into you. You are the absolute best.
So, to big moment #6, to being together, to you, to us and to all the big and small moments to come – CHEERS! Let’s party!
-Wedding toast to all our family, we have the best.
Feeling the love? I’ll leave you with our wedding playlist. We walked down the aisle to We Belong and it was magic.
Together is the only place worth being.