I don’t have a comondrum to unload today because, in all honesty, I don’t have much going on today at all – mentally or emotionally. I actually woke up this morning relieved that it was Monday. (I know.) This weekend was one of those weekends but not because it was particularly packed with activities and I couldn’t catch a minute to myself, but because sometimes just being home trying to manage a household which includes an infant and a toddler zombie on meth while delicately tiptoeing around relationship growing pains and doing my best to manage my feelings, my reactions, my lack of patience and my sleep-deprived inner teenager is more work than I’ve done since my 25th birthday. I almost prefer a string of non-stop activities to keep everyone preoccupied and “happy” so we can push off all the “family maintenance” as long as possible.
Don’t you judge me.
But as if all of the emotional maintenance wasn’t bad enough, there was also a week worth of babying, toddlering and adulting covering every inch of our god forsaken home and everything, EVERYTHING needed to be disinfected. Dis-in-fec-ted.
I used to roll my eyes whenever my mom would complain and accusingly say, “This house is never clean!” but NEVER AGAIN. I think I say that exact phrase at least once every other day (being generous) and every single time it pisses Seth off to the max because he knows exactly what’s coming – imagine Aunt Jemima meets Mr. Clean with a temper like the Hulk’s and the volatile vocabulary of a belligerent Irishman -> that’s essentially me in all my cleaning fury. I recognize it, I’m trying to get better …. BUT I don’t understand why it’s really that hard to just let me do what I need to do, clean the house (yes, maybe a bit like a psychopath?) and move on with our lives. If you want to help, follow in my steps (orrrr *lightbulb* put your socks in the hamper so I don’t find them in the most random, infuriatingly gross places) – don’t berate the way I clean. Just (passively) sayin’. And YES I know I need to do a better job at replacing the toilet paper roll!
Don’t worry, I also realize if our biggest issues are dirty sock placement and empty TP rolls, I should be wearing two spotless glass slippers, holding a frozen beverage in one hand and coloring intricate pictures of butterflies in one of those adult coloring books with the other – but sometimes life feels much harder than it is. PS the only adult coloring book I will ever own will be this one because look at that list of words. (Um, hello. Twat waffle? Fucking genius.)
Anyways. These types of family weekends, these dynamics, these conversations and these patches of irritability and everything in between are all part of the thing – you know, the love/family thing everyone spends their childhood glamming up. The thing you spend your formidable years fantasizing about and then your adulthood either seeing a therapist because it’s nothing like it’s “supposed” to be or wishing you had the money to see a (aka hire a live in) therapist for the same reason. If it’s just me, keep it to yourself – I really would rather not know. Relationships, parenting, life – it’s all exhausting, so if you’ve ever found yourself relieved that it’s Monday because the weekend with all the “down time” was a little too much and you’re feeling a little guilty, this article was posted today and hopefully it will help you (us) feel a little less awful about yourself (ourselves).
Also, note the URL: /work-easier-than-love-monday/
Talk about the universe having your (my) back.
Can I get an AMEN!?
I’ll just leave this here because I’m in no state of mind, let alone ready, to talk about Lemonade but – like the good Bey fan that I am – I have to acknowledge that happened.