Buzzed buddies was a weekly series where I hand over the reigns to Seth, he or a guest gets comfortably inebriated and write a guest post on any chosen topic. Seth loves whiskey, short walks to the park, our boys, his friends and cinema (his wording not mine). His opinions are his own and I’m not allowed to edit Buzzed Buddies – so, read at your own discretion. Good luck!

So, without further ado, I give you Seth.

I know that this is late and trust me……there is nobody in the world that is more worried about being late than me. Two kids…unplanned….being late means another $1000000000000 in day care.

That being said I have the perfect JAM for you…Megan, PATIENTLY WAITING BY 50 CENT AND EMINEM. HIT IT! Seth, nobody listens to this music – what is this?! 

First things first…I FUCKING HATE MACHINE GUNS IN PSYCHO PEOPLE’S HANDS. I am all for people having the ability to buy guns to hunt with or protect their families. I am also one of those guys that if my friend’s dad had an awesome machine gun hidden away in their house and we’re 12 and my friend shows it to us because he knows exactly where the machine gun is at and a bunch of 12 year olds have the ability to touch the gun and touch the bullets and holy shit what if we would have put bullets in the gun…it was awesome. But it’s not awesome. It’s fucking stupid and there needs to be some sort of limitations on the types of guns regular people can get – because those regular people can turn into psychos and kill people. Dude, I know it’s fun shooting that shit at targets and what not but make a sacrifice and let’s just stop letting every person in the united states be able to buy one. Unless there is a mountain lion outbreak then we all need to be able to control our own nukes to protect ourselves. (megan imbed a scary mountain lion pic)

Mountain Lion

Seth, leave the mountain lions alone. They’re just minding their own business being beautiful.

Let’s get to something that I feel like I need to get off my chest because it’s very important to me. I think we should be able to outlaw baseball after middle school. I live in Omaha and it’s the mecca of college baseball because of the CWS. Don’t get me wrong…CWS is so fucking awesome I can’t breathe right…but not because of baseball. It’s because a bunch of people come to our town and party and cook awesome food and the bars are full, people fight and people do wild S E X Y things….it’s one big party.  BUT nobody really actually cares about the baseball games. I remember the last time baseball was fun and that was when Jeff Newby (best baseball player in the history of Glenwood Pony League) was hitting .900 with 6005 home runs and the games lasted AT MOST 1 hour and 30 minutes. I was 12…..12 year old baseball is the new limit. It’s time to do something great for our country and make our youth great again – outlaw baseball and start teaching the youngsters slow pitch softball.  That is really what 99.9% of them will end up doing with their sports life anyhow. Petition starts on Friday at TD Ameritrade Park.

Couple quick shots to make this things readable:

  • A/C alert – it’s 70 degrees in my room and 85 degrees in my kids’ rooms – anyone selling a nice house or renting a good place with central air I’ll pay triple regular price. I hate summer now that I’m not at the pool doing aerial flips and inverted dives
  • Fat alert – went to iowa city and promised myself I wouldn’t get Pancheros because it’s not good and it’s like the fifth best burrito place in Iowa….2am – bought a burrito, called a cab and then got an uber on my phone. Cab came first, uber called me all mad and then charged me cancellation and then my burrito tasted like dog balls. Overall- typical Iowa City experience.
  • Movie alert – no movie tonight but I watched Games of Thrones last night and if you’re not up to date – Ned Stark dies season one, Jon Snow doesn’t survive the series, there’s a thing called the red wedding there pretty much the entire stark family dies, the dragons are in there like 1% of the time, there was a strong 50/50 boob to wiener but now they’ve really stepped up and it’s 51/49 boobs. So that’s not that much different.  Watch the south park episode making fun of it….it’s awesome…megan can we imbed that?  Love imbed…imbed…imbed

I leave you now with a quote from Megan “You are seriously so much better at blogging than me….you should just get your own blog because I think you could be famous” She’s great…and she can’t edit this. HAHAHA – Everyone’s allowed to have dreams, buddy.

Until next week…when I hope we line up a guest.