I have a comondrum (obviously that’s what a comondrum on a Monday is called). WHAT THE FUDGE IS HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY?

I know this might be a little heavy for a Monday but I mean, seriously. WHAT ARE WE DOING?!

Let’s begin here, with these two headlines from the weekend:


Again, what THE FUDGE is happening in this country? As an adult with a brain, I’m very well aware of the harm and damage a gun can do – that’s why I don’t own, will never own and have no desire to own any form of a firearm. But, oddly, it would seem there are a lot of people out there who actually have no fudging idea the power or purpose of owning a gun, and their children are paying for it with their lives – WITH THEIR LIVES, you guys. Um, let me go out on a limb and say these people should not procreate nor should they be able to get their hands on a gun.

Let’s take a look at the small amount of info I know about these two headlines. The first, a woman with a history of mental illness gets into an altercation with her daughters, somehow the argument spills out into the street and she shoots AND KILLS her two daughters, one was 17 and one was 22. This, my friends, is a woman who should not have – regardless of her passion to protect herself and her family, regardless of her ability to use a firearm, regardless of the freaking Constitution of the United States – owned a gun. She had a history of mental illness. Mental illness, the non-issue issue that everyone loves to pretend isn’t a big fudging deal, is actually a really big freaking deal and should be a GIANT red flag in the sales of firearms. There is no reason a woman or person with a history of mental illness should own a gun, sorry but no. Just no. I don’t have a gun and as the Beatles would say, ‘ob-la-di ob-la-da, life goes on’.

As for the other headline, it pretty much says it all. Kid is playing with Mom’s gun, gun accidentally goes off, shoots 4-year-old brother in the head, poor baby dies. Do I really have to make a point here? If you can’t keep your gun out of your kids’ hands – like, if that’s just too much for you – do your kids, your partner, your neighbors, your community and your life a favor – do not buy a gun. Don’t even effing look at guns. Just don’t. What is wrong with you!?

What is wrong with this country? What is happening here? WHAT ARE WE DOING?!

Now, because gun enthusiasts tend to be all-or-nothing sort of people (how unironic of them), I want to say that I’m not saying we should take away all of the guns – please don’t come at me with your bologna. My dad is a police officer and I grew up around guns and rifles, my dad actually doesn’t go anywhere without his badge and gun, so trust me when I say I know it is possible to be a responsible gun owner with no incidents but also, I’m just going to say it, you’re an idiot if you don’t think we need to do something about the gun situation in this country. We need more regulations, more rules, more care, less pride, less ego, less ass backwards propaganda, more willingness to put aside our personal experiences and desires in order to actually make this country safer and to actually protect our kids and our communities. We need to figure out what the fuck we’re doing.

Seriously. WHAT ARE WE DOING? Why is the idea of putting some sort of regulations around the sales and ownership of firearms even a discussion about should we or shouldn’t we? UM, WE OBVIOUSLY SHOULD. Are you new?

Honestly. What the F*&$ is happening in this country?