Dear Spring,

What the fuck are you doing? Stop being such a tease. Show the fuck up and stick around. It’s not that hard. Don’t, as Bic Runga would sing, come and go like you do. Quit, as the Backstreet Boys would sing, playing games with my heart.

MY HEART IS FUCKING TIRED, ok?! My skin is also tired PROBABLY FROM A VITAMIN D DEFICIENCY. Not naming names. Ahem!

Show the fuck up and be a real season. Exist with a purpose. It’s officially time for you to get your shit together. We all love you, we all want you to be here and we’re all ready to make the most of our time together. One more week of this shit and we’re bound to never trust you again. If you want us to put our boots away and commit to you, you need to – as The Boss sang (ironically, on an album titled Nebraska) – give us a reason to believe. Give me a fucking reason to roll my windows down, play some terrible pop music too loud and put away my bulky ass sweaters I’m sick of wearing. 

A winter storm watch is effect now but YOU can change all of that. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL OF US, this song is for you. Except, ignore the end of the song because you don’t need Mother Nature, you need us.

STAY HERE, SPRING. I’m down on my fucking knees, I NEED that vitamin D for my mental stability – WHICH SHOULD BE PRETTY EVIDENT BY THIS POST.