I haven’t been great at this this season.

  1. I’m unmotivated.
  2. What the fuck is going on in Westeros?! At this point, you may as well call it West Hollywood. Jesus.

ANYWAY. Moving on because – well, positive thoughts.

So, this week I think it took me a total of six(ish) minutes to be over the episode and almost GoT in it’s entirety. Unlike the rest of the internet, I don’t care that Dany’s lost her mind. Character arc, character schmark. There were enough warning signs for me. She was obviously going to go nuts and lose her mind when she found out she wasn’t the rightful heir. Insecure women do fucked up shit all the time. Turns out the Mother of Dragons is no exception. Let’s be honest, she’s probably in the most unstable tier of insecure women after her BFF was beheaded. RIP to the cutest. 

What really set me over the edge is Jon’s sudden dismissal of all of his fucking morals and values as he stood there and let Dany set Varys on fire. UM, HELLO, JON. This is Ned Stark calling, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Sure. He loves her and she is his queen. I get it. But let’s call a spade a spade, if he loved her and she was his queen, he’d be doing other things with her, even if he is her nephew. If he loved her enough to watch her set Varys on fire therefore also implying he’d be fine with her setting Sansa on fire, they would be getting busy. But they’re not getting busy. WHY aren’t they getting busy? I would presume it’s because Jon still has some sort of conscience (as he fucking should because his love can’t be so serious that he’s thrown his entire upbringing out the window). So then WHY would he stand by while she set Varys on fire? I mean, do I care that Varys is dead? HA. No.

But I do care that three episodes ago Jon was mad at Sam for insinuating his father lied to him and that this entire fucking series is based on Ned Stark – Jon’s father – being the best, most decent man. And, to follow, that Jon has always lived his life trying to be as good and decent. That’s Jon’s fucking schtick, ok? It’s seriously all Jon is. He’s not the toughest or the smartest or the wittiest or the hottest but he is good and decent. Well, he was, until he suddenly became a boring puppet who just stood there and practically spent the entire episode watching people die for nothing other than his crazy ass aunt’s ego.

You want to talk about a character arc, let’s talk about that one because POOF, there it went.

Now, let’s talk about Cersei – who’s name was pronounced by ONE OF THE SHOW’S writers as Ser-Say during the after show and sent me into a fucking tizzy. How do you write for a show, have all of the characters pronounce her name one way and then come on TV after possibly destroying one of the greatest shows of all time and have the gumption to pronounce it completely different? As if it was your plan all along to write the last season as if you’re not even caught up on the first seven? Fuck. But speaking of Ser-Say, THAT’S HOW SHE DIES?! Wrapped in Jaime’s arms as a castle collapses on her?!!?!?! WUT?! Euron Greyjoy got a better last scene and that fucker could have just drown and not a single person would have wished for more. Dear writing room, are you or are you not just fucking with us? Looks like Dany isn’t the only one drunk on power and an endless amount of fire/money.

The Hound is dead but he went out how he wanted which is literally maybe the only good part of this week’s episode. Well, that and the fact that Arya lived. Even though she may as well have rode off on a fucking unicorn across a rainbow with animated sparkles. That white horse better have more purpose than it would in a Taylor Swift music video or I will go NUTS.

Honestly, other than that, I couldn’t even tell you anything significant about the episode. Tyrion’s alive for who knows how long. Davos is alive, thank God. Jon is alive but who even knows why at this point. Sansa and Brienne are still alive in Winterfell but who knows if that means anything. I hope the last scene we see of Brienne is not her crying about Jaime’s lame ass. Insert eye roll. Will we see Tormund again? I doubt it but I hope. Will we see Sam and Bran again? Knowing the writer’s, they probably forgot Bran was on the show after the Night King died. Honestly, there’s one episode left and all I want is for Arya to kill Dany because there’s no way she’s having a baby unless somehow they start the episode with a “8 months later” – which, again, could happen because this is no longer Westeros, it’s West Hollywood. 

And let’s be serious. Is there even a throne anymore after that shit show?

Maybe the real plan is to make sure not one GoT fan is sad to see the series end? Maybe this shit is the closure we all really need. I guess only five more sleeps will tell.