It seems strange to be able to sit down at a computer and write words in English when my three-year old has me wondering if I even speak English anymore. You’re reading this, right? This is English, isn’t it? I mean, it honestly doesn’t matter what I say. I could say three two-letter words, I could say 10 15-letter words, I could read a children’s book or a short passage from Ulysses and you know what Matty’s response would be?
And then when I repeat it, whatever it may be, you know what his response is?
And then when I simplify it and slow it down, you know what his response is?
And then when I break down the words into syllables and over pronounce each consonant and stare deeply into his eyes as if I might be able to telepathically pass on the message or ask the question, you know what his response is?
And then when I finally give up, say never mind and walk away to hopefully forget the adorable and yet mind-numbing inflection of his “huh?!”, you know what he says?
“HUH, MOM?! Mommy, huh???????! MOM! HUH??!??”
Why is he doing this? Because he’s a preschooler. And, for whatever reason, he thinks it’s cute to pretend he can’t hear me when I’m speaking what I’m still assuming is perfectly good English. Or maybe he just really likes the way huh? rolls off the tongue. Who knows.
PRESCHOOLERS JUST KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN. There’s really nothing more to it, I guess…
And also me: