On most accounts, the internet is awesome. I mean, there’s online shopping when you don’t want to get out of bed or get dressed – or move. There’s Pinterest when you’re feeling particularly crafty. There’s Facebook for catching up on everyone’s life, times and opinions. And there’s Google for…um, literally everything.
On most accounts, the internet is awesome. But there are those dark news stories and truths that would otherwise probably never fall into my lap. Those bored people with ugly agendas trolling for every opportunity to be hateful. The assholes and bullies, pedophiles and predators. The hackers. And the copious amounts of weird shit and awful opinions that I would have (gratefully) never known even existed had it not been for the internet…
So, yeah, the internet can be awesome but on these not-so-minor accounts, it’s a really fucking terrifying place.
Between the election, the racial tensions, the psychopaths, the parents that never should have been parents and the trolls with their bitter hearts, I’ve been keeping my mind, my eyes and my heart in the simple swim lanes of happy thoughts, rainbows, unicorns and sunshine. As evidenced by my bar hutch light mentioned here in Exhibit A…
A month ago or so ago (maybe even longer), my mom and I were Facetiming family members in Houston and she mentioned something about the floods, wanting to know how it was affecting them. I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Later she said to me, “You know, Megan, you should probably read the news more often.” I felt ridiculous in that moment because she was probably right. How were there serious floods going on to the point that my cousin’s boyfriend was displaced and I had no idea? Though, as ridiculous as I felt, you know I still I didn’t ever go read up on the floods. I’m busy, you know?
Then, Exhibit A happened yesterday and in that moment I realized I hadn’t just been “too busy” to stay up to date on all the crappy and sad shit going on in the world, I had been subconciously avoiding it. Did I go read the story about the baby who was thrown out of the window? No. Did I go look up the trial about the serial killer? No. Do I have any idea why everyone’s freaking out about clowns on FB? No. Do I care to find out? No. Did I indulge in Seth’s multiple attempts to talk about the mess of the vice presidential debate last night? Fuck no.
Do I care how that makes me look or seem? Um. NOPE.
Somewhere along the line I subconsciously decided, and as of yesterday I officially decided, I’m willing to risk seeming simple (maybe even dumb) if that’s what it takes to feel a little more easy during the day, to maintain my optimism and to keep my faith in humanity. If cautiously turning a blind eyes is what it takes for me not be terrified to leave my house, to comfortably encourage my boys to say hi back to the amicable strangers in the store, to tame the cynic inside or to just be calm in midst of this shit show we call reality – then so be it!
I don’t need to read the news or 700 op-eds a day to know the world is fucked up…but I do need to avoid it to feel like there’s still hope. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about “back in the day” and often I find myself wishing things were a little more simple. Wishing I didn’t have to worry about raising my kids differently than I was raised – free to roam the streets, fine without a phone, not having to worry about what or who they’re being exposed to on the internet.
Our homes and our minds are the only places in which we can control the climate and mine is set at -> MAINTAIN SANITY. If the only way I can do that right now is to swim between the happy lanes of Pinterest and online shopping, then okay. And if the risk I run is to come off as uninformed or dumb, then whatever…TO EACH THEIR OWN, YOU GUYS.
So, I guess if you need me, I’ll just be over here singing children’s songs, throwing confetti and planning costume parties 4L. 👏👏👏👏👏👏