I have been spending a lot more time with the boys lately between their summer schedule and the 4th of July and all the other fun summer things. And a lot of good has come out of it, my amount of patience has increased, my tolerance for talking to people when I may as well be talking to a wall has doubled – maybe even tripled – and, of course, I get to experience more of the hilarious shit that comes out of their mouths. Abbott is talking here and there, but mostly in a weird tongue we have yet to entirely figure out and as you know, Matty never stops talking.
When Matty was born my phone autocorrected his name to Marty ALL OF THE TIME. So much so that it became our way of identifying Matty’s alter ego – he was born channeling his inner Sasha fierce! When Abbott was born, we decided to call him Bot and since my phone apparently has a thing for older men who drink strong whiskey and hide from their wives at the bar on the square, it autocorrected to Bob. Just like that, Marty and Bob’s boy band with an eternal bond was formed, hence the first ever Marty + Bob’s Chatty corner.
“DAD! You have the remote?!” – Marty, at his first movie in the theater as he settled into his recliner chair and the lights dimmed. Also, “Dad, can you rewind it please?”
“Mom, can you move your nipples like Dada?” …Marty, no I can’t.
“They’re just like me…I’m kind of a tornado.” Marty, joining a conversation about totchos – and confusing them with tornados?
“I’M EATING SOMMMMETHINNNNG!! Oh, it’s a booger.” – Marty, really into nutrition.
“Well, I can’t take a nap.”
“I think you could use a nap.”
“Well, I can’t take a nap because I’m still waking up!”
– conversation with Marty…at 3:35 pm
“Your knees are soft?”
“Yeah, you wanna touch them? My face is not soft but these are soft.”
– Marty playing with his knees in the car
“Should we go pick up Dad at his office?”
“NO. Offices are for helping boys when they’re sick.”
– Marty, obviously scarred from the Dr’s office?
“UGH, MAMA! YOU DROVE ON THE SIDEWALK. You. Don’t. Drive. On the. Sidewalk. We walk on the sidewalk so you don’t push me off of there!” – Marty, not completely understanding how some parking lots work.
“Matty, Dad fixed that bike for you?
“Let me see you ride it!”
“Well, I wanna cry for a little bit more.”
– Marty, being Marty
“‘MON, MANNNNNYYYYYYY!” / “HI, MANNY!” / “NO, MANNY!” / “Maaaaannnnnyyyyyy?” – Bob is obsessed with Marty
“AH-BUTT. Ah-butt. Ah-butt. Ah-butt. Ah-butt. Ah-butt.” – Bob is also obsessed with his full name and proper diction.
“BUGGY! BUGGY! BUGGGGGY!” – Bob is acquiring Marty’s big bug phobia. (insert eye roll)
“Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh – nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh – BAT MAN!”
“Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh – nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh – AAATT AHHHHHH!”
– Marty and Bob, overheard sing-screaming the Batman theme song from their beds together.