Recently, Matheson has been a talking machine and, as predicted, he’s hilarious (he gets it from his mama) but he’s also clever and charming and weird. He will be three in about a month and a half and the thought of that is mind blowing (that’s a statement I’m prepared to make every year because I’m sure this nostalgic, yearning for his baby cheeks and wobbly steps feeling will only grow more intense with each passing birthday). Because I never want to forget and I’m too smitten not to share, I wanted to “host” another Marty’s Chatty Corner to put a spotlight on just how adorably funny and imaginative our “babies” can be by sharing some of my favorite Matty moments as of lately.

“I can’t go to bed because I have to wake up, go to the park, get my shovel that’s red and just dig. That’s what it’s all about.” – Negotiating bedtime with Seth and I. And summing up the secret of life in one succinct sentence.

“Papa, do you have a pee-pee?” – Over family dinner on Sunday while visiting my parents. We all tried not to laugh and my Dad hesitatingly said, yes, he does in fact have a pee-pee. Matty then asked if I had a pee-pee and somehow the word “vagina” turned into “giant” and — thanks to my brother’s uncontrollable snickering — Matty kept telling the table that I had a “giant, giant, giant, giant, GIANT pee-pee”. In other words, don’t use the word “vagina” around Matty unless you want the world to think you have a giant pee-pee.

“Well, I can’t go to the shower. I take baths.”
“No, buddy, this shower is like a party – it’s called a bridal shower.”
“Well. Pee is like a shower?”
– Discussing our plans to attend my brother’s couple’s shower, a concept he clearly hasn’t grasped.

“Mom, this is my lobster. His name is Skip.” – He’s really into naming things right now and I just love the name Skip.

“I’m going to get you a dinosaur toy because you don’t have any.” – Upon talking to my cousin on the phone and discovering she doesn’t have any dinosaur toys. My heart melted in that moment.

“God damnit, I already ate the black piece.” – Sitting in the back seat looking intently into a paper cup full of cheerios on his way home from school. I am a little curious at what the “black piece” he was referring to could have been but I’d rather not dwell on it and just be thankful he’s still alive.

“Mama. Put your pee-pee down!” – Pretty much every time he walks in on me going potty…with my giant pee-pee.

“I need to change your diaper because you have an owie, a sore on your butt!” – After he overheard me talking about how sore my tush was from working out. He also later checked in and asked me again if my butt still hurt. What a darling.

“ALL RIGHT. HEAD OUT!” – Bossing my mother and I out of an aisle at the grocery store. I’m guessing I can thank Paw Patrol for this new authoritative side of him.

“HEY, MISS GRANDMA!” / “HEY, MISS GUYS!” / “HEY, MR. PAPA!” – I’m not sure what sparked this polite phase but everyone has become a Mr or Miss and it. is. adorable.

“Well, I was just…are you going to pick up that battery?” – Trying to get out of trouble after saying he had to pee to get out of bed.