So we bought Moana last Friday (mostly because Matty would not put it back on the shelf after looking at it) and Space Jam (for the same reason except this one was Abbott – I mean, 89% of the kid things I buy outside of the holiday season is just an attempt to avoid a level 10 tantrum in public – I’m not ashamed). We chose Moana, or Moeena as Matty called it for the first three days, for our Friday night movie and then we watched it AT LEAST five more times over the course of last weekend. 

This was our first time seeing the movie and, I’m going to make a bold statement, Moana is at least 700 times better than Frozen. It’s easily in the top-5 best Disney movies (Lion King will always be #1, NAHHHZUPINNNIAAAAA). There is NO romantic storyline which is amazing. There is a strong female lead. The music is perfect and there was SO MUCH of it (swoon). The story is culturally charged and beautifully told. It was one of those movies that had all of us dancing and laughing and crying (well, just me) and biting our nails (or intensely picking our noses) and longing for the island life. I mean, you know it’s a good movie when it makes a thirty-something mother of two in the midwest actually believe she could become the chief of an island, sail the wild sea with a chicken and restore the heart of Te Fiti. I CAN DO ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO.

Last night, since we have a pretty strict “no movies on school nights” rule, the boys and I spent our evening romping around the house listening to the Moana soundtrack. It’s amazing how many songs Matty requested through scene descriptions from the movie. Kids really are the most incredible sponges. It was great – but this morning, I’ve ONLY listened to the Moana soundtrack (while working nonetheless) and I have an overwhelming urge to break my own rules and watch it tonight (for the bajillionth time this week). 

I felt really weird about it so I texted Seth and asked if he thought it was weird (I don’t know what I was thinking because of course he didn’t think it was weird) but then it dawned on me. THIS MUST BE WHAT MATTY FEELS LIKE EVERY DAY. The first thing Matty says when I pick him up almost every day is, “I want to watch a movie.” This week he’s said, “I want to watch Moana!” one million times and every time I’ve had to say, “It’s a school night, bud.” Right now when all I want to do is watch Moana and dance around like an island princess with my two little monkeys, the thought of someone telling me, “No, it’s a school night.” is infuriating. Granted, I’ve put my time in learning how to deal with disappointment (unlike my kids who showcase their inability every day) but still – I get the thing with the tantrums a little more now. 

It’s hard to remember what it was like when you had to answer to someone after being an “adult” for so long. Like, the idea of someone telling me I can’t do something is so beyond my realm of thinking at this point that it’s got be affecting the amount of patience I have with my kids. Last week, Seth and I were discussing our rules and such in relation to how independant and opinionated Matheson has become and he said something that really hadn’t even crossed my mind.

“When you think about it, we’re really pretty hard on him. He’s a great kid.”

I hadn’t thought about how challenging it must be for him to follow our rules and to take “no” or “maybe tomorrow” or “not right now” or “no thank you” or “don’t do that” or “please stop” as graciously as he does for as often as he hears it (which is all the time). If someone told me ‘no’ multiple times a day every day, eventually I’d be like fuck that B. So, I think tonight, after listening to the Moana soundtrack 7 million times, I’ll go pick the boys up and ask Matty if he’d like to watch Moana with me. After all, rules are for bending and, at times, breaking, right? 

Moana would be so proud of me.