Shout out to the proud-parent bumper sticker parents.
The other day I was following closely behind a van that had a “My child is an honor roll student” bumper sticker proudly stamped to the back. Every time I see vehicle with one of those proud parent bumper stickers it warms my heart. My parents weren’t (well, aren’t) bumper sticker people. I remember getting a bumper sticker when I was in high school for making the All-State choir and when I jokingly asked my mom about it, she gave me a run down of how annoying bumper stickers are because you can never get them off. Then she followed it up with something like “but it’s not like we’re not proud of you.”
I got what she was saying, I’m sure it would be annoying to have a giant ass sticker stuck to your car that you’d likely never get off in one piece, and at the time I didn’t think it bothered me (I ONLY ATE, SLEPT AND DRANK THOSE AUDITION SONGS FOR MONTHS ON END, GOT REJECTED TWO YEARS IN A ROW AND HAD TO LEGIT BREATHE INTO A PAPER BAG TO PREVENT HYPERVENTILATION WHEN I GOT RECALLED AND HAD TO SING ON MY OWN) – but, I mean, apparently it stuck with me.
Before I had kids, my parents’ outlook on bumper stickers had rubbed off on me entirely. Bumper stickers were dumb and pointless. But THEN I had kids and over the course of the past few years I’ve realized proud-parent bumper sticker parents just might be my favorite kind of parents.
It doesn’t matter if their kids had to beg them to put the bumper sticker on or if they begged them not to and they did it anyways; it doesn’t matter if they drive a shitty car or a one-of-a-kind Lamborghini; it doesn’t matter if everyone in the school made the honor roll or if their kid earned a Nobel Peace Prize, the sentiment is the same to everyone who can see it – I FUCKING LOVE MY KID SO MUCH I’M WILLING TO SPEND HOURS SCRAPING THIS SHIT-FOR-QUALITY BUMPER STICKER OFF LATER IN MY LIFE (OR MAYBE EVEN DRIVE THIS CAR FOREVER SO I DON’T HAVE TO). I AM MY KID’S #1FAN4LIFE. But I especially love proud-parent bumper sticker parents because some days – even weeks – those shit-for-quality stickers plastered on the back of Chevy van are the only signs that there’s still hope for the future, that I should still have faith in humanity.
So, shout out to the proud-parent bumper sticker parents. Maybe no one else agrees but I think you’re just what the world needs more of.