Have you ever thought about what a reverse bucket list would be like? Because I’m pretty sure 80% of parenting would be on that list. Obviously being a mom is great, but let’s be real – there are a lot of #momthings that aren’t.
For example, I just got off the phone with the doctor’s office to discuss at length the texture, weight, color and amount of my kid’s poop and the current state of his butt hole in general. This is something that, if I had the choice, would be on my reverse bucket list (something I never wanted to do).
Let me give some more examples…
Commonly finding and cleaning random poop smears is another one. Actually, living in conditions in which I sniff random spots and stains just to make sure they’re not shit -> reverse bucket list.
Although it can be a fun exercise in creativity, answering the same question 300 times a day -> definitely reverse bucket list.
Negotiating someone else’s meals – considering I have enough trouble negotiating my own meals with myself -> reverse bucket list.
Wrestling with a mini human in a mini bed every night and looking forward to the event with high anxiety EVERY DAY -> 100% reverse bucket list.
Cleaning my house with no actual outcome EVERY DAY is a nightmare but also a reality -> SO reverse bucket list.
Living in a constant state of worry – also a nightmare and a reality -> IS my reverse bucket list.
Being engaged in a sloppy food fight, being kicked in the face, getting chunks of hair ripped out of my head and being peed on – not rocket science -> reverse bucket list.
Cleaning poop out of a bath tub filled with water and mini humans – not ideal -> 100% reverse bucket list.
Waking up terrified and confused by blood curdling screams in the pitch black of night – MAKE IT STOPPPPPP -> REVERSE BUCKET LIST.
Being “one of those moms” who hides from her children would have been on my reverse bucket list – but now I realize that’s just being a mom, so I don’t feel bad about it.
But see what I’m sayin’?????