I have to tell you guys about a dream I had last night:
Seth and I and a bunch of other people – some I knew and most I didn’t – were taking this bus north to tailgate for something. I couldn’t tell where we were but we were definitely in the country, on what I’m guessing was an interstate. It was dusk and every gas station we passed was full of other busses and every vehicle we passed on the road was a recreational vehicle. It was like EVERYONE on earth was going to this “tailgate” (which seems more like maybe everyone was fleeing the zombie apocalypse – but who the fuck knows). Anyway, at some point on our drive we realize we’ve forgotten to bring pretty much every essential item we need and so we decide to call my mom who is also apparently coming to this “tailgate” later. It starts getting darker outside and things start getting a little weird on the bus, which I now realize is full of round dinning room tables and a few dining booths. The lights inside are fluorescent and as bright as day, everyone is carrying on normal conversations and having a decent time. I start having some sort of meltdown about not having the things we need prompting my little brother, also on the bus, to begin lecturing me. As he’s telling me he’s already talked to our mom, a high-pitched screeching noise fills my ears. Everyone in our group starts to look around for the origin of the sound. I stare out of the front (but back?) window of the bus trying to see into the dark when suddenly a two headed bat the size of a medium-sized dog drops down outside the window – one head is a bat head, the other is a cat head. I’m startled but mostly HIGHLY confused. No one else reacts and I’m not sure if they just don’t see it or if it’s just not weird to them but without any hesitation, I bluntly and very directly ask “What in the fuck?”
I hear a stranger behind me laugh a hearty and genuine laugh and then I wake up.
Just like that I’m lying in my bed hearing a similar noise to the one in my dream. At first, I think it’s raccoons fighting outside but then I realize it’s closer. I slowly look over to see Matty, he has crawled into our bed with his nose he’s refused to blow for weeks and won’t allow us to suck at all and it is whistling very loudly in my ear. I think about the enormous bat with two heads – a cat and a bat. I wonder if my subconscious made them rhyming creatures on purpose – have I watched too much Sesame Street lately? Are they both animals I hate on purpose? I think about drawing the creature for Matty in the morning to see what he’d say. I wonder if I’ll ever actually sleep soundly again. And scarred by many pregnant dreams in my past, I briefly worry I might be pregnant again (HAHAHAHAHA – NOPE). And then, as I try to quiet my thoughts, I realize this very moment – the weird dreams conjured up by a three-year old’s nose whistling, the lying in the dark trying to remember the last episode of Sesame Street I watched, the contemplating of two-headed animals and the constant desire for more sleep – pretty much sums up my life.
How did I ever get so lucky?