If there was ever any one shirt that could sum up my toddler’s entire current life status, it would be this one:

Ever since Bot joined our little family, I’ve been amazed at how easily Matty has adjusted. He plays with Abbott, hugs him, kisses him and asks for him before anyone else every. single. morning. And it’s been that way since day one. He’s been so good with Abbott that I’ve often wondered if he’s actually maybe just an emotionally genius toddler who somehow understands the complex idea that Abbott needs more than he does because he’s a baby and that we still love him just the same…

Well, I was wrong. Today, I’m both happy and sad to report that my child is just as emotionally needy as every other child. How do I know? Because in a matter of only a few days, Matheson has proven he is not, as previously believed, two-years old but ALSO 8-months old. What an unbelievable coincidence!!!

Suddenly, he doesn’t want his delicious dinners, he wants Ritz crackers and bananas cut up in tiny bits (we wouldn’t want him to choke). He wants his water in small sippy cups with little handles. He wants to be carried, always. He wants to sit on your lap. He wants to sit on your head. He wants to rub his feet in your face. He wants crawl around and eat random shit off of the floor (an art he’s actually always been good at). He wants to scream at the highest decibel possible – ALL. THE. TIME. He wants to throw his food and play in his brother’s crib. He wants whatever Abbott has and he wants it now. He wants to sit where Abbott’s sitting and he doesn’t care at all if that means sitting on top of him. He wants all of the attention and he’ll go to any length to get it. He’ll hit, he’ll jump, he’ll wail, he’ll scream, he’ll push, he’ll steal, he’ll cheat and he’ll lie. About the only thing he won’t do that Abbott does is sleep in his own bed (how surprising). HE IS RUTHLESS. 

And I am exhausted.

Having two little mobile people constantly crawling and hustling around on the floor just foraging for “food” and then just needing and wanting something all the time is a whole new level of anxiety and old age I’ve ever known. I’ve been told this is just a phase, (because of course it is – isn’t it all just a phase?) so I’m trying my best to enjoy it but, like everything, enjoying something that you know will be funny someday but is just short of maddening today, takes practice.

So in the meantime, if anyone wants to come feed my attention-starved toddler and tell him he’s pretty, my door is O P E N.